As hard as it is to believe, I have made it through one year without running. Last year on this day, January 17, 2010, I attempted to run in the Rock ‘n’ Roll Arizona half marathon and found myself with a big fat DNF due to a foot injury https://christinaruns.wordpress.com/2010/01/19/rnr-az-12-race-recap/.
Right before I was able to get back on the road and run after my few weeks off from my foot injury, I injured my right knee very badly. https://christinaruns.wordpress.com/2010/02/04/my-foot-is-the-least-of-my-worries-now/. I had a partially tore ACL already, but I managed to fully tear it and also make a “large bucket handle” tear in my meniscus. This injury, which unfortunately happened at work, had been a constant disappointment and frustration. My surgery did not seem to go very well and I am still trying to get all the answers I need.
How life has been
It is unfathomable for me that I have been without running for a year now. Part of me thinks that I went though, and am still going through, a minor identity crisis because of this. Before all of this happened, I identified myself as a runner. My passion was running. My interest was running. My goals were running related. My entertainment was running. My running calendar dictated my social life. My life was running and I was a runner. But now I am not a runner. Or at least, it is definitely difficult to identify myself as a runner when I have not run in a year.
Am I a former runner? I don’t know. I hope not. I hope that I will be able to get back out there. Am I a sidelined runner? I don’t know. Usually people have a timeframe that sets parameters around injuries. I have no idea when, or even if, I will be able to run again. Am I still a runner? I don’t think so. I feel like a fraud sometimes saying that I am a runner because I cannot run now and haven’t run in so long.
Not being able to run has taken a larger toll on me emotionally that I thought it would. It was a large part of my life and it was who I thought I was. Now that I can’t run, it is like a piece of me is missing.
What can I do?
In terms of exercise, I do have some options right now outlined by my new orthopedic surgeon. I can walk, cycle, and lift weights as long as my knee does not bother me. I also have home weights, a heating pad, an electric stem machine, and awesome ice wraps at home so that I can continue therapy at home since my insurance company prematurely cut me off.
In the future
I really miss running so much and I am hoping that it isn’t another full year until I am able to run again. In 2011, I would like to get back out there and gradually ease into running. I would love to do the Couch to 5K program and complete a 5K. A 5K is far from a marathon, but at least it is something.