One year without running

As hard as it is to believe, I have made it through one year without running. Last year on this day, January 17, 2010, I attempted to run in the Rock ‘n’ Roll Arizona half marathon and found myself with a big fat DNF due to a foot injury

 Right before I was able to get back on the road and run after my few weeks off from my foot injury, I injured my right knee very badly. I had a partially tore ACL already, but I managed to fully tear it and also make a “large bucket handle” tear in my meniscus. This injury, which unfortunately happened at work, had been a constant disappointment and frustration. My surgery did not seem to go very well and I am still trying to get all the answers I need. 

How life has been

It is unfathomable for me that I have been without running for a year now. Part of me thinks that I went though, and am still going through, a minor identity crisis because of this. Before all of this happened, I identified myself as a runner. My passion was running. My interest was running. My goals were running related. My entertainment was running. My running calendar dictated my social life. My life was running and I was a runner. But now I am not a runner. Or at least, it is definitely difficult to identify myself as a runner when I have not run in a year.

Am I a former runner? I don’t know. I hope not. I hope that I will be able to get back out there. Am I a sidelined runner? I don’t know. Usually people have a timeframe that sets parameters around injuries. I have no idea when, or even if, I will be able to run again. Am I still a runner? I don’t think so. I feel like a fraud sometimes saying that I am a runner because I cannot run now and haven’t run in so long.

Not being able to run has taken a larger toll on me emotionally that I thought it would. It was a large part of my life and it was who I thought I was. Now that I can’t run, it is like a piece of me is missing.

 What can I do?

In terms of exercise, I do have some options right now outlined by my new orthopedic surgeon. I can walk, cycle, and lift weights as long as my knee does not bother me. I also have home weights, a heating pad, an electric stem machine, and awesome ice wraps at home so that I can continue therapy at home since my insurance company prematurely cut me off.

In the future

I really miss running so much and I am hoping that it isn’t another full year until I am able to run again. In 2011, I would like to get back out there and gradually ease into running. I would love to do the Couch to 5K program and complete a 5K. A 5K is far from a marathon, but at least it is something.


4 responses to “One year without running

  1. I’m so sorry you still have no timeline to return. I can’t imagine how hard it must be. With your determination, no doubt you will settle into a sport to suit your knee. I really hope it is running since that is your true passion.

  2. I think I started reading your blog just before you got injured. I can’t imagine all the emotional ups and downs this injury has taken you on. I really admire the amazing strength you’ve portrayed through the whole process. For what it’s worth, I still think of you as a runner. I hope that you’ll be able to return to running soon, even if it is “only” a 5K 🙂 After all you’ve been through i’m sure a 5K will feel amazing!

  3. I’m sorry to hear about your injuries. But keep the positive and determined attitude, i’m sure you’ll be out there enjoying running soon! BTW you’re definitely considered a RUNNER!

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